Crush and Get CRUSHED

     I don't understand it. I don't like him anymore and haven't for awhile. It's just he just out of the blue starts talking to me and I sometimes talk back. Sometimes even on something as stupid and senseless as a facebook status get me talking to him again. I always forget how much we have in common. It's so much it is pretty much ridiculous. The other day when my friend came back and told me that he said he liked me and whatever that bull was, I did make it seem as if I didn't care. And I didn't. Until deep down inside, something inside of me, I guess I just thought that maybe someone on this Earth actually liked me for who I was. I asked again later if she was telling me the truth, she told me she was joking and laughed so hard. That's another thing. I have recently noticed and yet again this year that some of these so called friends of mine are not real.

      Maybe, the thought of someone liking me made me excited in the inside. So I commented on one of his stupid statuses because it was my exact opioion everything and he immediately replied. I don’t really know right now - exactly how I feel about that. It doesn’t excite me at this moment. 

      We’ll be in the middle of this conversation seeing eye to eye. This strong understanding as if we get each other and then boom, he’s gone, no reply, logged off, gone. I learned by the third time to just not even get myself worked up over even talking to him but sometimes I cant help but to reply. Maybe I’m a crazy person. Sometimes after he replies and I am the last to talk, I just delete what I said and then act as if he was the one who talked last and that I am done with him and that he’s the one all bleh with me. I wish it was that way. It may be best to just delete him. I thought I really liked him. That was dumb. I almost cried when I found out he had a girlfriend. I don’t talk all flirty nice to him after I found that out. I felt guilty. If I ever had a real boyfriend, I’d feel so bad if he’s talking to this girl all day who he has a lot of stuff in common with and I didn’t know. I felt odd. So I added her and stop talking to him as much.

     I don’t think I really like him anymore. I mean when you come to terms with reality, it’s really all just a crush. How much do you know about someone from a face book profile and a few stupid, little conversations. Someone who is a grade ahead of me and super-duper smart who I will probably never see. For all I know, he may not even like me at all what-so-ever. He probably never will. It’s so stupid of me to like someone. Every time I feel, and start to show actual literal emotions, it blows up and it all goes wrong. Yeah, maybe I’m dramatic or maybe, I should just be alone and not like anyone for a very long time. I hate to speak death to myself but I always felt I would die alone, ever since I was little and no chain of events has proven otherwise to me. I either have gotten a terrible person or no one at all. Personally, I rather be unhappy alone then unhappy with someone who constantly makes me unhappy or have a guy who makes me cry all the time. No I’m never doing that again. Call me crazy if you want. I rather be single than stupid…

"Friday, I'm in Love!"

     Yesterday, on the way to school, my mother was driving over the tracks to get to the other side and this elderly woman in a car, she slowed at the stop sign then when we were coming down she speed up very quickly and we collided. It happened so fast. My mother and I had on seat belts. However, the woman didn't. She ended up moving to the passagener side, falling down. I screamed as my mom got out of the car, "Go check on her" and then I dialed 911.
    She was already checking on her, my mother asked her if she was alright then she told her to back up some to get out the side to wait for the cops. The woman hurries away because the car was in motion the whole time. My mom tells her that she cannot leave, it's a crime. She then tells my mother "Oh yes I can!" and she speeds off like there was no tommorrow. I was telling the really nice operator lady what happened. My nerves were so bad and I couldn't help but cry. I just wanted to go to school and visit Musee' Conti in the French Quaters with my fellow classmates then pick up trash for our community the next day at the trash bash. I was looking forward to that.
   One lady passes by us and looks at us stupid. Another checks on us and finally the cops came. I was so disturbed and upset not to mention late for school. So they asked us what happend and then three cop cars showed up and they were looking for the woman. Thank God we have her liscene plate number. They asked me for my name and etc.
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    So after the feildtrip to the wax musem, our eight-grade class went to Sicily's. Nothing good to eat so I had some Crawfish Et Tuffe` I think it's spelled. Even though I am Creole, I cannot spell in French, Creole, and especially not in English. That was pretty good, i had two bowls. My friend, you know the one dating my ex, and texting him on Freddie's phone, yeah another story, she tells me that it was the best Friday ever. I look at her and there was so many things I could say about that statement. But that's a whole-nother blog. So I just say something probably sarastic that I cannot really remember right now..
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    After that, I get on the bus, get half way home, then we all have to go back to school because supposedly two chicks were about to fight. All I remember was them fussing at eachother back and forward one in seat 20 something and the other in seat 3 and across the isle. I honostly do not recall people saying anything about fighting like physical. But whatever. When I finally get home, my dad takes my mother and me to the doctor. Our backs hurt and our necks along with my head.
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    So we are in the waiting room at three. We wait there until five, well pass five. They then put us in another waiting room. The doctor finally comes in and checks us. Nothing big. So then, then they put us in another, yes another waiting room. It's past 8pm now. Another doctor comes to do some x-rays and gets my mother first. I end up crying from being in the small rooms so long, the pain, hunger, lack of music, and the worst basketball game being on. Then this angel looking doctor comes and I hurry and stop crying. He takes me to the back for the x-rays and while doing this, this guy in scrubs is on the floor saying "Eh girl, whats up with you, say girl let me holla at you! Say girl! Eh girl!" and I get annoyed and a little disturbed. The doctor kind of looks at him odd. The doctor keeps calling me honey, baby, dollface, etc. Random right? Then he asks my age and I'm like 13. He's asks about the accident and a bunch of stuff. I couldn't really look him in the face. He was beautiful. Not hot like yeah take off your shirt but he was beautiful. He looked like an angel.
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   We finally leave at 9:22pm. Now remember we arrived there at 3pm. We go get some chicken for some odd reason at Churches. We are in that line 10 minutes. I finally get home tired, hungry, in pain, and just downright aggravated. This was a totally freaking awesome Friday eh? So awesome Im in love...