I don't understand it. I don't like him anymore and haven't for awhile. It's just he just out of the blue starts talking to me and I sometimes talk back. Sometimes even on something as stupid and senseless as a facebook status get me talking to him again. I always forget how much we have in common. It's so much it is pretty much ridiculous. The other day when my friend came back and told me that he said he liked me and whatever that bull was, I did make it seem as if I didn't care. And I didn't. Until deep down inside, something inside of me, I guess I just thought that maybe someone on this Earth actually liked me for who I was. I asked again later if she was telling me the truth, she told me she was joking and laughed so hard. That's another thing. I have recently noticed and yet again this year that some of these so called friends of mine are not real.
Maybe, the thought of someone liking me made me excited in the inside. So I commented on one of his stupid statuses because it was my exact opioion everything and he immediately replied. I don’t really know right now - exactly how I feel about that. It doesn’t excite me at this moment.
We’ll be in the middle of this conversation seeing eye to eye. This strong understanding as if we get each other and then boom, he’s gone, no reply, logged off, gone. I learned by the third time to just not even get myself worked up over even talking to him but sometimes I cant help but to reply. Maybe I’m a crazy person. Sometimes after he replies and I am the last to talk, I just delete what I said and then act as if he was the one who talked last and that I am done with him and that he’s the one all bleh with me. I wish it was that way. It may be best to just delete him. I thought I really liked him. That was dumb. I almost cried when I found out he had a girlfriend. I don’t talk all flirty nice to him after I found that out. I felt guilty. If I ever had a real boyfriend, I’d feel so bad if he’s talking to this girl all day who he has a lot of stuff in common with and I didn’t know. I felt odd. So I added her and stop talking to him as much.
I don’t think I really like him anymore. I mean when you come to terms with reality, it’s really all just a crush. How much do you know about someone from a face book profile and a few stupid, little conversations. Someone who is a grade ahead of me and super-duper smart who I will probably never see. For all I know, he may not even like me at all what-so-ever. He probably never will. It’s so stupid of me to like someone. Every time I feel, and start to show actual literal emotions, it blows up and it all goes wrong. Yeah, maybe I’m dramatic or maybe, I should just be alone and not like anyone for a very long time. I hate to speak death to myself but I always felt I would die alone, ever since I was little and no chain of events has proven otherwise to me. I either have gotten a terrible person or no one at all. Personally, I rather be unhappy alone then unhappy with someone who constantly makes me unhappy or have a guy who makes me cry all the time. No I’m never doing that again. Call me crazy if you want. I rather be single than stupid…
